Just me

Ambien Poetry

2011-08-18T22:22:00.000-04:00

My mind is not rested; it awaits the archaic hollowing of my heart.

Of my disappointments it wishes to lie inside the hole I’ve made

I have brought myself to this place and I will try and conquer that which is intolerable of my own accord

I am nothing but characters in which people perceive me to be as gracious, a temptress, a worldly look that must mean I know it all, even though I do not.

I want to be happy, not discouraged, flourished not faded from glory.

What is my purpose here…Why have I been put here? What am I to do with myself?

So few answers for so many questions. I cry for there are so many unanswered questions.

I don’t feel all here like I should, a stranger is someone else’s skin is shuttling me to work.

Who IS that? I don’t recognize her …walk on by… that’s fine. This isn’t my life’s work

I don’t have the capacity to integrate these people, problems, dramas into mine and I feel badly for them

My hunger for life has diminished for years and I’m not sure I’ll ever get it back.

I’m not sure this and my life means that much that I would go to all that trouble.

Adobe Photoshop Lightroom Giveaway!!!

2009-12-18T11:39:00.003-05:00

Here's another great giveaway from MckMama's blog at mycharmingkids.net. What an exciting opportunity to win Lightroom. So cool!!! Check it out-go right now!!! ;)

HP TouchSmart Giveaway!!!

2009-12-09T19:14:00.004-05:00

I was just reading my favorite blog and watching Christmas shows and I noticed this new giveaway and I totally signed up for it. http://mckgiveaways.blogspot.com/2009/12/hp-touchsmart-giveaway.html This computer looks amazing and it would sure beat the old and busted one I have in the family room;P Go check it out!!!

Shelbey and those crazy kids...;P

2009-11-15T23:40:00.005-05:00

KiKi-Mama's Baby Angel-R.I.P.

2009-09-19T14:40:00.005-04:00

You came to me out of nowhere and into my heart forever. You were my baby for all of 12 years...looking back, it was much too short a time. My heart just breaks knowing you won't be around for us to dote on or to greet us when we come home everyday...You took care of me as much as I took care of you and you are greatly missed...more than you will ever know. I'll love you forever and always! Love, Mama

Happy 19th Birthday Shelbey

2009-09-13T00:31:00.002-04:00

To my beautiful girl, you are the light in my life and you make my life complete. You are funny, smart, quirky, and I wouldn't have you any other way. Have a wonderful birthday! All my love, Mowma:)

Happy Birthday Rick

2009-06-28T14:58:00.003-04:00

To my darling husband on his birthday...I love you more and more every year and even more than I can express. You are the love and light of my life. Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!

HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY!!!

2009-05-15T05:40:00.003-04:00

Here is to my darling husband on our 5th wedding anniversary. Thank you for always making me smile, being my best friend and sharing your life with me. I am the luckiest woman for having you in my life. I love you and can't wait to see what life has in store for us!!!

Virginia is for Lovers...and for work;P

2009-05-07T23:06:00.008-04:00

Rick and I went to Richmond, Virginia to do a show at a Nascar event for the Army. It lasted only a few hours then we had the rest of the weekend to see the sights. We saw the canal system set up by Washington, the Holocaust museum, and the Virginia Capitol Building just to name a few. We ate at a few fine dining restaurants and spent a lot of quality couple time together. Overall, I would say that the weekend was a success both work and marriage-wise! Our 5 year anniversary is coming up on the 15th of May and we'll be headed to Savannah, Georgia for a romantic stay at The Marshall House. Stay tuned!!

Maw Maw & Shelbey

2009-04-15T19:14:00.004-04:00

I just loved these pics of Shel taken by her friend Amy. I took this pic of MawMaw after she got her hair permed today. She looks thrilled!!! :)

Springtime!!!

2009-04-12T23:52:00.008-04:00

Hmmm, so what's been going on here, you ask? Well, it was my bday on March 17 and my husband gave me a ticket to Texas to see my Mom, nephew Matthew and brother Mark. I also visited friends in Beaumont and Houston while I was there. I've been taking a lot of pictures of nature lately because it has been so beautiful here in Georgia. Hmmm, what else...Shel and I took the pics above before we left for a concert/frat party at Georgia Tech that Rick was running the sound for. Also in the pics above are Baby Cat and Jack. Rick's Mom is here so we haven't really been going anywhere out of town. I'm gonna try to put pics up more often (I have TONS of them!) and try to be a better blogger;) We'll see how that goes!

Anxious much??!!!

2009-03-02T13:08:00.000-05:00

New Moon Movie

R.I.P. Miss Priss

2009-02-24T22:30:00.005-05:00

This is Miss Priss. He was one of our babies. He would have been 2 in June. We had to put him to sleep this morning because he had antifreeze poisoning. Cats and dogs are prone to drinking antifreeze because it tastes good to them. Please check and make sure that your vehicle is not leaking antifreeze. Even if your pet doesn't get into it, someone else's may. We will miss him terribly.

Lazy day in February :):):)

2009-02-22T14:57:00.013-05:00

Here are some pics I took today and last week in Florida. I don't feel well enough to go to the park so these will have to suffice. I'm sure we have many more beautiful days ahead!

(I'm miffed at Blogger for making me load these photos individually b/c of an error!)

Shel got a new car for Christmas!!! :):):)

2008-12-29T04:30:00.001-05:00

Inspired By Edie Sedgwick.

2008-12-29T00:42:00.001-05:00

Christmas is getting close!!!

2008-12-16T16:09:00.001-05:00

Rick and I decided to take a picture last night before going to eat at Nickiemoto's with friends. Enjoy! ;)

Fun at Centennial Olympic Park and World of Coke

2008-12-15T00:32:00.005-05:00

Rick and Shel at the entrance to Centennial Olympic Park

Shel in front of the World of Coke Christmas Tree

Shel and I spinning on these things at the kids park and trying not to fall off!

Isn't he a cutie?!!

2008-12-10T18:08:00.004-05:00

Baby Austin is home with Amy, Chris and Lily now. Don't you just want to squeeze him?

Rebel for a Cause Raffle Way

2008-12-02T20:49:00.009-05:00

Click on the link on the right and go sign up. It's involving great organizations and it tis the season to help and support our fellow man;) Also, by donating you will be automatically entered in a very cool giveaway. Click the link and check out the details!! Hurry raffle ends December 14th!!!

Austin Christopher O'Neal is here

2008-11-25T00:28:00.004-05:00

This is Shelbey's BFF Amy's new baby boy, Austin. He was born today-Happy Birthday! We are so happy for them:)

Twilight is Coming!!!!

2008-11-19T03:01:00.003-05:00

We had a great day in Helen Ga. and Brasstown Bald Mountain

2008-11-02T01:00:00.003-04:00

We had a lovely day viewing the fall foliage in Georgia. We were gone for 10 hours! We went to the mountain visitors center, saw a waterfall in the N. Ga. Mtns, and Rick threatened to shove Shel off the top of the mountain;P There were ladybugs EVERYWHERE congregating like it was Sunday supper after church. They were on everything and everybody! Good times though. I got a lot of great shots; maybe we'll go back next weekend to camp...We'll see...

I just bought this...

2008-10-30T00:41:00.002-04:00

Honestly, I love it, the color, the fit, it's fabulous. But honestly, I purchased it and I'm not sure where or when or with what I'm going to wear it. Seriously people, I waltz around all day in a t-shirts and jeans. I do not dress up. I have no reason to. I don't work, and I just don't go anywhere that such an outfit (as shown above) is necessary. So now I'm having buyers remorse. I'm not sure if I should take it back and buy something a little more practical or if I should just not worry about it and throw it on over jeans and tennis shoes and go to Wal-mart. Anyone have an opinion on this? Any help would be appreciated:)

And I painted mine!

2008-10-28T02:50:00.001-04:00

Guess who?!! :)

Shel has painted her pumpkin!

2008-10-26T00:04:00.000-04:00

Ode to Robert Downey Jr.- Oh my!!!

Mow-ma & Schmoo

2008-10-16T22:57:00.001-04:00

We think we're sooo cute! ;P

How He Loves Us - Kim Walker / Jesus Culture

2008-10-10T03:38:00.001-04:00

I came across this song on YouTube-it is really amazing:)

Cute kids!!!

2008-10-08T00:09:00.017-04:00

Obviously the first one is Shel. heehee

The next little girl is Shelbey's BFF Amy's daughter, Lily. They came to stay with us for a week while they get settled in the states, her husband is in the Army.

The next kids are Jack, Ella, Emmy and Charlie. These are Rick's sister Missy's kids. Triplets and a newborn-I don't envy that;)

We love these kids-they are the best!!!

(Sorry only one photo is in color, I've been playing around with Picasa too much)

We have nothing but foolishness going on here...:)

2008-09-26T07:02:00.001-04:00

We are silly people-what can I say? The ones of Rick and I are right before we left for ProgPower 2008. The one of Shel is well...of Shel in her pj's!

Charles Dean Woodham is here!!!

2008-09-16T20:05:00.000-04:00

Charlie for short:)

Ok...well...um...

2008-09-06T21:57:00.002-04:00

So...we're still waiting, no baby as of yet. Missy is still dilated 1 cm and the due date is the 10th. Hopefully the kid will show it's face soon;) As for us, we're still cleaning up for mom's visit on the 9th. Shel and I spent 2 hours in Wal-Mart shopping this evening-exhausting!!! Tomorrow we're working on the yard, hedges, etc. I hope it won't be too hot cuz I'm not looking forward to it. It's gotta be done though...That's all for now!

It's almost time!!!

2008-09-01T04:11:00.004-04:00

Rick's sister Missy is dilated but her contractions still aren't close enough together for the hospital to admit her. She will probably have the baby this week sometime. For those of you keeping count, this is baby #4. She already has 21 month old triplets and an 8 year old son by her husband's first marriage. And no, they do not know the sex of the baby. Rick is going to go to South Carolina as soon as he or she is born and I'm going to hang back here. I think it's for the best:)

As for us, we are trying to get the house ready for my mom to come visit on the 9th. Hopefully Gustav won't screw up our plans. Otherwise, we're doing a lot of extreme cleaning for nothing! lol She'll be here before we know it and I've got a TON to do before then...that reminds me, I need to make a list!!

Shel is doing well with school, doesn't particularly like Accounting but who could blame her, right? She is hanging out with her old friends from Snellville lately. These girls I affectionately call "The Honduran Kids". They are sweethearts and I'm glad they have all reconnected. Shel and Jocelyn (one of the girls) and I went to a concert at Emory University on Saturday. Rick was running the sound for this freshman get together the school was having and there were two bands. They were not good. It was unfortunate. We did get free snowcones with gummi bears inside so all was not lost. The Gwinnett County Fair is coming the 11th thru the 21st so Shel has that to look forward to. Also, her 18th birthday is coming up on the 13th-HOLY COW!!! I frankly don't see how that is possible seeing that I am only 25;) Anywho, that's the update for now-talk at ya later!!!

WE'RE DONE!!!!! YAH!!!!!

2008-08-23T20:15:00.005-04:00

Here are the pics of the family room that I promised. We started painting at 5 pm yesterday and stopped around 11 pm. We started today around noon and finished about 3. I think it looks fab, Shel picked out the color Canvas Natural from the Ralph Lauren collection at Home Depot. I am soooo pleased with how it turned out. Anything is better than pink, right?

I guess I'm gonna paint...

2008-08-22T02:17:00.002-04:00

Ok, so my family room is still the original color that it was when we bought our house-Pepto Bismol Pink. That isn't the official name for it but it should be. Rick is going to treat the yard for fleas and ticks (Fun!) and Shel and I are going to paint this room-finally! I don't really feel like it (Seriously, when am I REALLY going to FEEL like it?) but I should take the help Shel is offering and be thankful. I'm going to Home Depot tomorrow to check out the 12 Ralph Lauren colors I've chosen off their website and try to narrow it down to one. I'm also not thrilled with the fact that I have to spend $28 a gallon on paint PLUS supplies like tape and rollers. I know, I know, stop fussing and get to it. I'll post pics once we're done....(grumble grumble)

Still coughing if you can believe it! :(

2008-08-20T02:30:00.003-04:00

First of all, here is a pic of Shel and my granddog, Captain Jack. Sorry for the poor quality. As for me, I am well as far as fever, etc. but the coughing continues. Rick has it too, he never got as sick as me but he caught something I had and now we are waiting for the incessant coughing to pass. Ugh, very annoying! Anywho, Shel started college on Monday. She goes MWF from 8 to 12, a pretty kick butt schedule, I must say. She is taking Accounting, Psychology, History and Political Science. We had to take what was available and luckily she got in everything she wanted. The Accounting was the only "Math" available under the Business Major but I think it will be good for her to learn. She also received her in-state tuition petition so she didn't have to pay over $3000 to go to school. Thank goodness!!! Rick's mom and my mom helped and we paid for books, so it was about $500 for each of us. Hopefully she can get some sort of student loan next semester. We'll have to see. My mom is finally coming to Georgia to visit on September 9-15. We've just lived here for 4 years;) We're happy she is coming though and now I have to figure out how to entertain her. That should be interesting. Hmm...what else has been going on? I guess that's about it, we just haven't had much energy to do a whole lot. I'll write more soon-later!

Haven't been this sick in a while...

2008-08-08T00:29:00.001-04:00

I've been running a fever over 101.0 since last night. I went to the Dr. and he gave me a shot of Phenergan for nausea and said it was probably a bug. I am MISERABLE!!!

My Pooh Bear Is Home (Pics of her bff Kraig too)

2008-07-27T21:21:00.009-04:00

HAHA- I've missed this kid so much!

Shel staying up late and playing "Dress up like a Latina."

Kraigers in our backyard.

More dressing up...

Pretty girl...

BFF's at the beach! Just glad she's back:)

Went camping in Destin

2008-07-27T21:02:00.010-04:00

The water is a beautiful blue-green, they said. You can see all the way to the bottom, they said.

They failed to explain that part of the reason the water is so green is that algae is floating in it. Everywhere. It was not exactly the sparkly blue-green water we'd heard so much about. We had fun nonetheless. We camped. In Destin, Florida. In July. We're obviously insane.

We stayed at Henderson Beach State Park. I'm sure it would have been spectacular with a camper with air conditioning.

I kid, we did have a good time. So much so that we had to leave a day early because of sunburn and general discomfort:(
We learned a valuable lesson: hotel rooms in Destin in the summer and camp only in the fall and winter! :)

Daytona on Tuesday

2008-06-29T16:05:00.003-04:00

Rick and I are headed to Daytona Beach on Tuesday. He is going for work and I am tagging along. We are actually staying at the Night Swan Intercoastal Bed and Breakfast in New Smyrna Beach Florida which is close to Daytona, so whatev...We are staying until Sunday so I'm very excited to be going on ANOTHER vacation this summer. Very cool. I will hopefully find a quiet place to stay out of the sun (I burn like crazy!) and read my novels. I am currently going to be reading Neal Boortz's Somebody's Gotta Say It, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, On the Street Where You Live by Mary Higgins Clark and The Well Of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall. I've obviously got my summer reading cut out for me! :) See y'all soon, I'll post pics upon our return. Peace out

And We're Back...

2008-06-20T01:47:00.009-04:00

Trip was great, my daughter graduated with an Advanced Studies diploma, all is well. Talk to y'all soon.

We are getting EXCITED!!! New York and Shelbey's Graduation from high school next week!!!

2008-06-05T10:29:00.002-04:00

Can't wait to get to NY and get the heck outta here for a week! I've never been; I'm so excited and Rick is excited to show me the city. I better get off my butt and figure out what I'm gonna wear! Aaagh!! Talk to you soon<3

Getting Well

2008-05-21T23:54:00.002-04:00

My husband has had a bad run for the past few months. He's had colds, the flu, shingles and now a kidney stone. He knows it's a kidney stone because this is his third. His last one was in 2003. Studies show that caffeine can affect the kidneys negatively, causing stones to form. We have been drinking caffeine free Coke since 2003. (Anyone that knows Rick knows that Coke is ALL he drinks, maybe juice once in a blue moon) Anyway, so he's laid up in the bed all day going to the bathroom, being in pain, being miserable and there's not a lot I can do for him. It's kinda one of those things that you have to literally "let it pass". Between me going to the Dr. for "woman problems" and him being sick every time we turn around, it's a bit much. I just hope he starts feeling better soon. Sucks to be old!

4 Year Anniversary

2008-05-17T14:40:00.003-04:00

Okay so our 4th anniversary was actually on the 15th of May. It came and went without any fanfare or really any acknowledgement. We are saving our money for our trip to New York and we'd spoken about that being our present to one another. Rick is working today so I may go get him a card and bring it to his job (better late than never, right?)

I Would Die For That

2008-05-11T16:03:00.001-04:00

My Beautiful Baby

2008-05-06T16:36:00.005-04:00

My Shelbey with her BFF Kraig before her SENIOR PROM! Good grief, I know... She looked beautiful as always and Kraig was as handsome as ever. They had a great time before prom in the limo shooting water guns at cars, at the park taking pictures on the slides and at the prom dancing and after-prom playing laser tag. It reminded me of me and Aunt Hil standing in line to play laser tag at our Project Graduation and then realizing they wouldn't let me and my preggo self run around in the dark and shoot a gun. I had to sit that one out-lol. Anyway, good times were had by all and that's all that matters!

Insult to injury

2008-05-04T20:34:00.004-04:00

My sister in law is pregnant, just about every person I know or don't know is pg. Hell, even my ex-fiance's gf is pregant! Good Grief! That being said, I had the good sense to go to the movies and see 'Baby Mama'. It was funny not emotionally gripping or anything. This whole infertility thing is just really consuming my life more than I thought it ever would...

Disappointment

2008-05-04T20:31:00.000-04:00

I don't really feel much like talking about this but I've had some people ask me to keep them informed so here goes...My follicles did not respond at all to the medicine given to them. In the doctor's opinion if they haven't responded by now, the chances of it happening further down the line are slim. So that being said, my cycle was cancelled and I was put on Yaz. Yes, that is birth control. It was very heart breaking for me. He said we don't have that many more tricks up our sleeves in order to have a baby but we're going to try this one. I take the bc pills, then he gives me a low dose steroid and another pill to "trick" my body into doing what we want. If that does not work we will be doing IVF. Rick's mom has gratiously agreed to pay for the IVF and has told me that "we're having a baby, don't you worry about that!" Bless her heart. I don't know where we'd be without her. Anyway, that is what's going on today. I've had a really horrible day today trying to process all of this...it's very distressing to want something so badly that your body refuses to give you. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts. We love y'all :)

Progress!!!

2008-04-30T10:20:00.002-04:00

This morning I have 3 follicles-yeah! Two 1.0's and a 1.1. Good news and it's about time! My endometrium also looks excellent, we just need these guys to get growing. I'll find out later today if I have to increase my dosage or stay where I am. I'll let you know!

This is really wearing me thin

2008-04-28T23:18:00.002-04:00

It's Monday and I had an u/s with the same 1.0 follicle staring back at me. I actually got to see the doctor today which was nice. My levels are staying up and my dosage was raised to 112.5 which means by the end of the week I will probably have to spend another $358.50 on meds. Not particularly happy about that. I have been sick so I don't have a lot of patience for all this right now especially when it seems like it's not working. I am also on Dexamethasone as of today, the Dr. said it may help, couldn't hurt. Not terribly encouraging, but not the opposite either. Another u/s Wednesday (shocking!) and I'll let you know more then. Thanks for reading

Couldn't be more thrilled!

2008-04-24T20:21:00.001-04:00

Okay, you're not gonna believe this... My terrified/petrified of shots husband gave me my injection tonight. Can you believe this? My husband rocks. My love for him is so strong, especially after this selfless act. Also, neither one of us passed out which is always good. I put ice on my stomach and I didn't even feel it. Also my dosage was upped to 75 instead of 50. I have one follicle that is 1.0 and one that is 0.9. We want these to grow, grow, G-R-O-W!!! I go for another ultrasound on Saturday so I'll update more then. Keep us in your prayers!!!

I have nothing but time here at work...

2008-04-23T13:09:00.011-04:00

Get your Warhol on!!!!

It seems to be getting easier

2008-04-23T08:58:00.002-04:00

The day 2 shot was okay. It's really my anxiety that causes it to be so traumatic, not the injection itself. My friend Racheal is doing them for me because my husband cannot. She gave me the shot in the parking lot of Perimeter College yesterday! Today she's going to meet me at our house. I'm just not a big fan of all these hoops we have to jump through for a baby. You can't help but wonder why others have it so easy. I guess everyone has there own trials and we all just have to get through them. I just wish this one wasn't so hard...

Starting Day 2 of Gonal-F

2008-04-22T15:30:00.004-04:00

Ok, so yesterday was my first shot of Gonal-F. It wasn't fun, nor was it pretty. It left a red mark on my abdomen (looks like a rug burn) and it was quite uncomfortable to receive. For those of you that do not know, I have to continue to take these shots every day until ovulation. Ugh. I HATE shots! And these burn. I am not a happy camper. Oh, and add salt to the wound my nurse tells me I could have had the Follistim Pen which is a significantly smaller needle. The Dr. just gives each drug company equal time by passing out each to alternating patients. Great. My luck rocks! Hopefully this will work and I can be well on my way to Babyville by May. Keep me in your prayers!

Work is unpleasant

2008-04-18T10:28:00.003-04:00

I got here at 7 a.m. and it's only 10:30 now. This day is creeping by... I flipped my head over this morning to dry my hair and got that feeling like when you get water in your nose at the pool...Ugh, not fun. I need to stay upright;P On an upnote, my fertility medication was just delivered to my office. I'm so excited! Pray that it works!!! :)

Going back to work today!

2008-04-18T04:41:00.002-04:00

I went to the Dr. yesterday and got an antibiotic (which already seems to be working) and some Prednisone to handle the rash. They thought it might be scarlet tinea (sp?) but it wasn't and I don't have strep. I just have congestion in my head and a little tiredness. I have to go to work today, my injectalbes are being mailed to the office between 8 and 3. I'm nervous about those. I've been fallin off the wagon in regard to taking my Metformin. This is a vital step in the treatment of PCOS but even with an alarm set daily to remind me, I still ignore it or forget to take it. I don't know why I'm being self-destructive in that area. It's ridiculous! Anyway, Rick comes home today (hopefully!) if their truck gets out of the shop in NC. ttyl-SC

Blah!

2008-04-15T14:49:00.002-04:00

***UPDATE*** I'm for sure sick and I go to the Dr. in the morning. I have some weird rash all over me that I'm not too excited about. Shel wants me to update my blog more but I really don't have anything to talk about. (Sorry Schmoo!) I don't feel well and my husband isn't home to take care of me and that's about it. I don't lead a very exciting life if you didn't realize that already. Oh, I'm super emotional and have been crying at tv shows and commercials and crap. Ridiculous! I start my Gonal F injections in a few days and oh boy, you know how I love shots for days on end. My friend Racheal is coming over on Saturday to hang, so that'll be fun. I don't have a grill anymore, so I'm not sure what we're gonna eat. Racheal is getting into religion more and more (which is good) and I'm happy for her. That's all for now, kids. Gotta get some rest.

I'm not feeling well today. Woke up with a sore throat and now that the day has progressed, so have the aches and pains. Rick left for North Carolina until Friday. I'm not a happy camper!

The happiest place on earth is not on this earth.

2008-04-07T23:18:00.002-04:00

"This life was never meant to fill us, to satisfy our need for goodness. It wasn't designed to give us an answer, but rather to let the question penetrate our lives daily."

Spring Break at the park

2008-03-31T17:05:00.007-04:00

Here are a few random photos of us at the park. It was all Rick felt up to doing because of his illness. I may post more photos later-these took FOREVER to load!!! :)

And We're Back

2008-03-31T13:40:00.004-04:00

We had a great time on Spring Break despite the fact that my husband had the shingles:( and we couldn't go horseback riding:( To enjoy ourselves, Rick, Shel and I hung out, watched movies and t.v., shopped til we dropped and laughed. Rick is feeling a bit better now, although he feels guilty about "ruining" Spring Break, he says... but there will be time in the summer to ride horses and spend family time. We just loved having Shel home, we miss her terribly when she's gone. Soon enough she'll be back home with us because in 2 1/2 months Shel will be graduating-Eeekkk! We are going to New York before her graduation for a few days, Rick is obsessed with NY ever since he went there last summer for work at the UN. We are going to stay a few days, visit with some old friends and then drive back through Washington D.C., see the sights and then onto Virginia for graduation. Shel and her BFF Kraig are coming down to Georgia in July and we're going to go camping in Destin and to Rick's Uncle Ronnie's for his big July 4th party. Many things on the agenda in the coming months. Today is technically my last day at work, but I will probably continue to work for the company for about 4 to 6 more weeks. I received my bonus and severance pay over the weekend so it's starting to become "real" that I won't have to go back to work for about 6 years! Woot-Woot!! On the pregnancy front, our injectables cycle starts after April 10th so keep us in your prayers. I'm trying to stay positive that it will work. That's all for now!

Spring Break is Coming!

2008-03-20T10:34:00.002-04:00

Shel will be home this Friday through next Saturday. I am so happy! Rick comes home today from being out of town for the week. Yeah! Now maybe I'll have some help cleaning up before Shel gets here... My birthday week has gone by quietly, I've been struggling with headaches lately and I'm not sure of the cause. I'm not a headache type person, so if I have one, there's a good reason. The last time I started to have them it was my high blood pressure and now I have meds for that. I've since had to switch meds because I'm trying to get pregnant. Maybe that's the cause? There has also been an extremely high pollen count this week here in Georgia, so maybe that's the reason? I don't know but I've about had it! My head hurts from the moment I wake to when I fall asleep at night. Not fun. I go to the Dr. on Monday so I'll ask then. Anyway, we are going horseback riding on Sunday. Me, Rick, Shel and a guide. I decided on a private ride because we are social phobic at our house and mingling with others would bring on a panic attack. I know, it's unfortunate. I haven't decided if I'm bringing my Nikon or not. It distresses me to think it might get damaged. Maybe we'll bring the small digital so I can post pics of the North Georgia Mountains. Have a great Easter everyone!

Happy Birthday to Me

2008-03-15T03:17:00.009-04:00

So...above I've put a picture up of all the items that I got for my birthday. I also got a t-shirt but I forgot to find a picture of it. Anyway, I have been really bummed lately about not going to get my nails done (acrylic) and pedicures every couple of weeks. I decided to cut those out since we have a lot of expenses relating to infertility. Every little bit helps, right? So my husband notices I'm distressed about scraggly heels and he puts together this spa-related b-day gift. The lady in the tub picture is called One Step Pedicare. It is like a foot shaped pumice stone and you rub the parts of your feet on the different angles of it. The other pic is obviously a bath pillow. It has memory foam so that's pretty nice. Also, I love infomercials and I saw the Ped Egg and said I wanted one. (I would buy every As Seen On Tv item if I could!) He is still looking for an ankle length fluffy robe so I'm gonna keep my eyes peeled! Anywho, Rick is the sweetest and my birthday has been great but stay tuned b/c there's more b-day excitement to come...

My Hubby is Coming Home-yeah!

2008-03-14T23:52:00.002-04:00

Rick and his co-worker decided to leave Florida a day early and drive back tonight. Yeah! They have to turn right around on Sunday and drive to North Carolina so the more time with him I have, the better! Rick says he's bringing me surprises for my birthday(I know it's not until the 17th, but he'll be gone on that day) -I'm so excited-I never know what he's going to do...Anyway, I'll post more after I get presents:)

Prom

2008-03-13T13:14:00.001-04:00

The dress has been chosen... You like?! Leave it to my child to go non-traditional. It suits her!

Lonely for the week :(

2008-03-11T09:13:00.003-04:00

Rick leaves for Florida today and will be gone for a week. He will get to miss all the crazy days that I'll have this week because of Clomid. Lucky him! I have an u/s tomorrow at 8 a.m. to check if there are any cysts forming. If not, I will get my 'script' for Clomid 150mg. They are bumping it up this month. I had 250mcg of Ovidrel last month and that will also get bumped up. I'm glad Rick is staying busy and I'm appreciative of the money made, I just don't enjoy staying in this big house alone. Just me and my cat, Kiki. We'll just have to make the best of it. I just end up sleeping on the couch(and not very well) and I usually end up seriously sleep deprived! Hmmm....maybe I'll put out my Easter decor...

Zzzzz

2008-03-10T01:30:00.002-04:00

I hate when you take a nap in the afternoon b/c you just can't keep your eyes open and then you can't fall asleep at night when you're supposed to. Now I'm awake at this awful hour and my mind is racing. We're planning on going horseback riding when Shel comes down for Spring Break-it'll kinda be something special for her and my b-day so I'm planning that in my head. After Shel graduates, Shel and her bff Kraig are coming down and we're going to Henderson Beach State Park in Destin, Florida for a few days to go camping. I'm planning all we need to do between now and then in my head which is keeping me awake. I gotta try and get some sleep now. Night!

My Girl

2008-03-06T09:01:00.004-05:00

Alright, so I admit it. I'm feeling a little melancholy. My only child graduates from high school in 3 months. Yes, 3 months!!! Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday that I was teaching her to walk, read, ride a bike...now she's going to be an adult? (This can't be possible, b/c I'm still 25;P) She is going to college and wants to study advertising and marketing. Isn't this the same child who can't make her bed in the morning? Don't get me wrong, I have faith in her and I'm excited for this time in her life to begin. I'm thankful that I'll be a part of it. She's just my baby, ya know? Although she is going to be living with me while she goes to college, which is good, I feel that empty nest syndrome anyway. Will she still need me? How will our relationship change? I have so many worries. She's planning on looking for a prom dress for Senior prom next week and invitations for graduation soon thereafter. It feels like it's all coming at me way too fast- I can't imagine how she must feel. I just never realized how quickly time would fly by and before I know it, my girl will be leaving the nest...

Incompetence

2008-02-29T15:16:00.003-05:00

I honestly don't understand some people. People claiming to be parents but have no concept of what it takes to be one. These people say hurtful things to their children, act as if the child owes them something, act like the child is inconveniencing them in some way, etc. Why hurt your kids? What satisfaction do you get from that? Jumping to conclusions before you have the facts, making outlandish rules and claims against your kid-none of it makes any sense. Some people don't know how to deal with children after they become a certain age. After they can't be controlled or manipulated anymore, some parents don't know what to do. If you can't handle the pressure, you should have never taken on the responsibility! You're child is suffering and your only concern is trying to be right! Great job you're doing there! Hopefully your kid won't grow up to be anything like you. Any idiot can have a baby, but it takes someone special to be a parent. I wish more people realized this before doing it...

Random pic for the last day of February

2008-02-29T10:07:00.001-05:00

Random pic and thoughts

2008-02-28T14:07:00.004-05:00

I am so tired today! I fell asleep on the couch for 3 hours from 4-7 and then I went to bed at 11 and slept until 6:30. I definitely got enough sleep-I don't know what my deal is. My mood is better today, thank goodness. Rick woke up acting silly this morning and I've been giggling to myself about him all day. He wakes up happy everyday-I don't know how he does it. No one should be allowed to talk to me until after 10 a.m. My husband is a silly goose...lucky for me. Oh yeah, here is a pic I took in my backyard. It's just a tree-no big whoop;)

If Momma is unhappy, everyone's unhappy

2008-02-27T14:00:00.002-05:00

Whew! Momma is an unhappy camper today! I had to take that blasted hpt this morning, knowing full well that the result would be negative! I think that's what started it all. Really, I have really been upset since my Dr. called last week about the low progesterone. My poor sweet husband can't understand why his lovely wife is ripping his head off on a daily basis (for nothing) and spouting outrageous obscenities at the drop of a hat. I don't handle disappointment well. I get angry. And for those of you that know me, I'm already quite angry normally, for no reason at all. So it has been a rough week for me. Oh, not to mention I need to pick up my meds today and my darling husband proceeds to tell me that I need to wait until tomorrow, just to make sure the $$$ is in the bank. This miffs me. Just one more delay on this fantabulous journey. "It'll be fine," he says. "We have plenty more tries left to have a baby." Do we? Do we really? That little phrase pisses me off more than anything. I mean, I hate to beat a dead horse, but how do you know that FOR SURE?!! That's right. You don't. You can't. My doctor can't even guarantee me that. Quit acting so laid back about the whole thing. Ok, now that I've got that out of my system everyone should now know what NOT to say to add to Momma's unhappiness. **Wow, there sure are a lot of eggshells around here!** yikes

How did my life become a Rolling Stones song?

2008-02-26T14:13:00.003-05:00

So I was all set to end my career at this job on March 31, 2008 after 2 1/2 years of meritorious service:P I get called into the office of the boss and she tells me she'd like me to stay through May. She trusts me to get everything boxed up while she's at the new office in Omaha, she knows I need the insurance more than anyone else in the office, etc., etc., blah blah blah. I'm grateful for the paycheck, let me just say that up front. I need the $$$ for all the Dr. visits, etc. that are going on. I was just sooo looking forward to hanging out at the house, chillin' during the day, getting some things done around the house, etc. I have been denied:( My husband is rather excited that the money will still be coming in and it won't be completely on his shoulders to carry our debt to the world. I was just really looking towards a less stressful, relaxing time. You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes you might find, you get what you need.

It's Valentine's Day at the Couch house

2008-02-23T20:17:00.002-05:00

As you know from the previous post, Rick was out of town for Valentine's Day. He made up for it tenfold by taking me to the Kevin Rathbun Steakhouse. It was awesome! Very classy place and the steak was to die for! We had lobster fritters for an appetizer in a lemon, honey mustard sauce. Rick had a filet with twice baked potatoes and I had a NY Strip with mac and cheese. The sides were big enough to share and obviously not your run of the mill mac and cheese and potatoes. We finished off dinner with a pecan praline parfait and a Bailey's Irish cream cheesecake with an oreo crust. We are stuffed. We are turning into serious foodies and I think I like it!

Another beautiful picture of my Schmoo Bear

2008-02-21T12:55:00.002-05:00

I am so fortunate to have her in my life. She is the one thing I've done right.

Good things come to those who wait...

2008-02-21T12:44:00.003-05:00

Ok so I got back my 2nd progesterone test and it was, as the Dr. put it, extremely low. Meaning of course, I didn't ovulate this month and the chance of me being pregnant from the IUI are slim to none. Rick and I talked about this before we even started this infertility journey that we would be fine with the outcome, it'd happen eventually, etc. I have failed in regard to that. I am so depressed today. I have looked at a million (ok, that's an exaggeration!) blogs today about infertility. I can see that there is hope. A lot of those women conquered this ridiculous PCOS and went on to have babies. I see that. But there are a ton that haven't. I am questioning everything right now. Is this going to even be a possibility? What if I have to go on to do injectables, who is going to give them? My husband is no help in that area. What if I have had the only child I will ever have, how disappointed is everyone going to be in me? Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter with every fiber of my being, I would die for her, but I want a child from Rick. It's that simple. I know it seems like I'm being all melodramatic here, but this is how I truly feel. I am too emotional to talk to people on the phone today and this was only our first month of trying to conceive "with help"! I can't imagine what the months to follow will bring. I don't like being disappointed and I don't like waiting, I have zero patience. It looks as though I'm going to have to learn a valuable lesson in all this as well. I just wasn't expecting to feel this way...

I think this is my favorite senior pic of Shel

2008-02-19T10:35:00.000-05:00

I'll just post my photos until I find something to say...

2008-02-16T11:37:00.000-05:00

I got a Nikon D80 for Christmas, so....

2008-02-15T17:54:00.001-05:00

Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T17:59:00.005-05:00

Ok, so Valentine's Day is here. It was a great day when we were kids and got to make our valentine envelopes and tape them to our desk. You always knew you'd get a valentine because everyone's Mom made them fill one out for everyone in the class. Now that we're grown ups, I can see how Valentine's Day is kind of annoying. There are all the stuffed animals, candy hearts and card that I can't stand everywhere I go. Not to mention the single folks out there that have their noses rubbed in it. It's an excuse for people to buy flowers, candies, and the like for their loved ones...out of obligation. I don't want my husband to buy me squat if it's not in his heart to do so, you know what I mean? Don't spend a bunch of money (that we don't have) on flowers. I'm not really a flower girl. I'd rather you spend time with me, take me on an outing-let's just enjoy each other's company. I may sound grumpy, I know. My husband isn't actually in town on this glorious "holiday" because he's out of town. I admit it, I'm bitter. I guess it just irked me today at work when all these people were receiving balloons, flowers, etc. delivered to their jobs and it had me wishing for a valentine envelope taped to my desk.

Contemplative

2008-02-14T12:10:00.003-05:00

I just had my first IUI (artificial insemination) on Tuesday. I stayed home the whole day, watched t.v. and talked on the phone. All the doctor's orders of course! Rick had to leave to go out of town to work at the Daytona 500 the same day. I guess I'm feeling lonely and left out. I have work, then I go home and nothing. I worry about this procedure that I had. Did it work? What if it doesn't, then what? How am I going to feel no matter the outcome? It's a lot to take in. I guess I wish I had more friends here. I have a few, but mostly I talk to them on the phone and we hardly ever get together. I think if I had more friends, I could busy myself with them and not sit around here worrying about whether or not I'm going to be pregnant in two weeks. I'm very anxious and stressed out. I don't handle either one of those things very well-ask anyone. I got pregnant with Shelbey accidentally, it's no secret, I was 17 years old and 18 when she was born. I didn't worry about anything when I was pregnant with her. I'm thinking I'm going to worry about EVERYTHING this time around. That's if this even works. (I know, I should have a better attitude, but I guess I'm setting myself up to not be disappointed.) I really want to enjoy this, it's going to be a totally different experience this time around. It's Rick's first baby and he and I have so much to learn and relearn;) Ok, I'm going to go try and stop stressing and relax. Wish me luck!

Hey, I'm new here!

2008-02-04T10:16:00.000-05:00

Ok, this is my first blog. Nothing too exciting, I just got tired of "stalking" my friend's blogs so I decided to make my own.